LOST FAQs

The series finale of Lost was on last night, and judging from the millions of confused Tweets by die-hard fans, there were a lot of loose ends.

In an effort to help you rabid Losties, here are the answers to some of Lost's Unanswered Questions.

Q: Why can't the women on the island have babies?

A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: Why did the Others want Walt?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: What is the meaning of the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: Who built the statue of the foot with four toes?

A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: What happened to all the people who were on the island who didn't crash on the Oceanic flight but were living normal lives in the "real" parallel world?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: What happened to Miles' dad? And what happened to Cindy the flight attendant?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: What's the deal with the black horse?

A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: Why don't Richard or Jacob age?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: What Happened to the Man In Black and Jacob When Juliet detonated Jughead?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: What's the deal with "the infection"?

A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: Who sent Kate the letter telling her that her mother had cancer?

A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: Why did the Smoke Monster kill the pilot? Why did it kill Echo?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: Who was "R.G." from the bracelet?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

Q: What is the significance of the Egyptology references?
A: It doesn't matter. Everyone's dead.

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FOOT LOBSTER

Things are getting so bad economically that stores in the mall near me are merging just to try to stay in business.

Not a bad fiscal strategy for my local shoe store and seafood restaurant, though I can't say that I'll be patronizing the new Foot Lobster.