LET'S MAKE WINE!

Camarillo Custom Crush Winery

Working the pole

Drinking wine out of a silo
(just like a farmer's daughter)

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TIVO MOVIE LOGLINES

Wow — that is not the Flipper I remember.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times — the world of competitive marbles is fixed. By the cops.

Another eHarmony success story.

Should butts really be that wet?

Methinks a certain TiVo logline writer might have taken some Shakespeare classes in college.

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JUST DESSERTS

MasterChef was the first cooking show I'd ever worked on, and I learned a lot about the genre. For example, you're not supposed to eat all the Sterno.

The judges were restaurateur Joe Bastianich and renowned chefs Gordon Ramsay and Graham Elliot. What did these great culinary figures eat the most of during the filming? Sour Patch Kids. They ate bag after bag of them.

The set for the initial auditions.
The excellent set design featured scores of fake crates of produce.

The apples left over from the Apple Chop Challenge.

The MasterChef pantry was a sight to behold.
Every spice, every vegetable, every type of pasta.
After the show wraps, the crew is allowed to take home whatever they want.
By the end of the night, it looked like LA after a Laker win.

The choice for one challenge was French, British or Spanish Cuisine.
Contestants received recipe books for French and Spanish...
but we couldn't find one for English cooking.

God bless the dishwashing crew.

The Hungry Biker / Sausage Challenge

This is the fish Gordon guts in the show open.
It took an hour to film and only seconds of it were shown on screen...
but the stench was omnipresent.

The Block Party before the kids arrived

Graham entertains the crew

The only writing instruction Gordon gave me was
"Jonathan, keep the scripts short and sweet — like your cock!"

IT'S A JERSEY THING

In honor of the return of Jersey Shore, here we are
hanging out with Sammi & Ronnie at the Century City Mall.
(We G and L, but clearly need to T)

IT IS SO A TOY

HYDROELECTRIC DAM, I WISH I WAS YOUR LOVER

A quick trip to the Hoover Dam

Acrophobia is hilarious!

Stop. Arizona Time.

Is it "Yuma Forward" and "Reno Back"
 or the other way around?

The climactic fight scene in
"Transformers 4"