SAN FRANCISCO

San Francisco hotel room nightstand

Wait, what?

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE OCEAN

Next stop on the Vietnam tour was the beach city of Hoi An. Whoever art directed this place is a genius.

At one point it occurred to me: "I'm usually on the other side of this ocean." Could you see me waving?

For reasons I am still unclear on, Vietnamese beach trash receptacles are shaped like penguins. Eat my garbage, Happy Feet!

On a scooter tour of the countryside, we got to see a woman who makes zillions of rice crackers in her home.

She dries them out on the porch like laundry.

For now: lovable pets. Later on: Bún Thịt Nướng.

I can't remember if this was tea or something stronger... like snake wine. Or gasoline.

The tour guide was delighted when I told him that I had a scooter in college, and encouraged me to take the wheel for awhile.

Considering the hyper aggressiveness of Vietnamese motorists, the caption of this photo easily could have been "Died trying to drive a Vespa in Vietnam."

SAN FRANCISCO

Transamerica knuckle

Textbook Pizza at Tony's

Palace of Fine Arts

The least mysterious room at the Winchester Mystery House

LONDON 2012 OLYMPICS DAY 2: WAR & VOLLEYBALL

Day 2 began with a trip to the Churchill War Rooms, the actual underground bunker where the British Bulldog and his wartime cabinet lived and worked during the Blitz.

One of the most bizarre celebrity sightings ever: legendary NFL coach Tony Dungy.

Okay, it's Big.

Here are our gold medal volleyball match seats on TV. 
For half the match, I got a great view of Destiny Hooker.

Awkward: Captain America and Captain Brazil got seated together.

LONDON 2012 OLYMPICS DAY 1: EYE ON BASKETBALL

Day One began with a mad dash throughout London. From Heathrow... to the single Olympic will call pickup location in Paddington... and then all the way back to O2. The signage on The Tube is truly delightful. (and alightful)

Prior to departing the US, I wanted to buy tickets for Basketball Semi Finals knowing that the USA would certainly be in it. The only problem was — which Semi Final game: 1 or 2? The Olympic website gave no indication as to which bracket would be playing in which Semi. I guessed. I guessed wrong. We saw Spain vs. Russia. I'm not saying the Russians intentionally threw the game, but later they were awarded the gold medal in Synchronized Take-A-Dive-ing.

Wenlock, the cycloptic metallic mascot isn't the worst in Olympic history, but he might be the most frightening. I swear the eye follows you around the room.

SEA WORLD SAN DIEGO

I like how the trainer puts her hands up in the air "ta-da" style
as if she's propelling the 2,000-pound orca into the air herself.

This is the most perfectly-timed photograph I've ever taken.
(This is the least perfectly-timed one.)

Be adorable... be very adorable.

Sharks are the evil murderers of the sea, but everyone's safe
as long as they don't find an exit out of the tank.
Uh-oh.

RHINO RECORDS

San Diego Zoo Safari Park

PALM SPRINGS AIR MUSEUM

Planes with folding wings are much easier to store in your hall closet next to the elliptical machine.

This ain't no Mickey Mouse bomber.

Um, you got any seats farther back in Coach?

The controls for 1940s war planes were easier to understand than my 2011 TiVo remote.

ITALY TRIP PART VI: DOVE È LA MIA VESPA?

Italians love their Vespas.

There are only two things they love more — and I have combined them to create a product that would be a million-dollar best-seller in Italy: a cell phone you can smoke.
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ITALY TRIP PART V: WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU DUOMO

The Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore

a.k.a Piazza del Duomo

Plans for the catherdral buildings were approved in 1296 and completed in 1436.

(And I thought the Santa Monica city council permit process was slow.)

Hard to take a bad picture in Florence.

View of the Duomo from the roof of the Uffizi Gallery

Italy's architectural roots run deep, but the future is relentless.

In the Piazza della Signoria: Michelangelo's David

(from this angle, you can't see his "Goliath")

ITALY TRIP PART IV: PETERED OUT

VATICAN CITY

The dome of St. Peter's Basilica and the dome of my head

"Great news — you got the cleaning/restoring St. Peter's gig!

Um... how do you feel about heights?"

Cleanliness is next to godliness

ITALY TRIP PART III: HOLY SEE, HOLY DO

St. Peter's Basilica, Vatican City
Luckily, the day I took the tour, the Lord made a cameo appearance.

God is watching us from a distance… of about 452 feet.

Here's the official tablet that lists all the pontiffs.

It's the Stanley Cup of Popes.

I'm not fluent in Latin, but I believe this translates into "TV is Christ."

The Pope is protected by a security team comprised of the most elite Renaissance Faire jugglers.

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