HEARST CASTLE TOUR #2

San Simeon, August 2010

The outdoor pool. It looks cool and all, but it's not even heated.

The interiors are as nice as the exterior.

And the view's pretty good too.

The indoor pool. 

Some of the tiles contain flakes of actual gold, which if you ask me, is almost a little gaudy.

NEW YORK NECKS

Available on shirts and stickers at TVsauce.com

WINGS: NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM

A Gulf Fritillary

A Cloudless Sulphur

A Spicebush Swallowtail

A Mourning Cloak

When the sun finally poked through at noon, the butterflies got more fiesty.

A Mourning Cloak landed on my shoulder and remained there for nearly the rest of the visit.

A Monarch

A Pipe-vine Swallowtail
(if you know what I mean)

Unidentified Butterfly

Zebra Longtails

BLIGHTY 2012

Recently, the London Olympic Committee revealed their mascots that go by the names of Wanker and Blinkered (or something like that).

I'm not sure what these things are -- they look like two metallic butt plugs -- but I am certain that they're the worst Olympic mascots of all time.

They're a particularly big letdown when compared to Vancouver 2010's Quatchi, the greatest Olympic mascot in history.

The official London 2012 Olympic online store has already started selling collectable pins with the zig heiling Wanker and Blinkered.

In fact, they're selling lots of different types of pins. Pins for Olympic events, a pin with a double decker bus on it, a pin with a Buckingham Palace guard.

And then there's tea.

If you like tea, you've got eight choices of Olympic tea pins:

But if you want to know that the chaps on the London 2012 Olympic committee really think of their city, consider that they've manufactured no less than seven pins celebrating Blighty's inclement weather:

Even the sunny day pin has an umbrella on it!
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WE'LL HAVE A GAELIC OLD TIME

The Irish cuisine at the Irish fest:

And there were many Irish items for sale...

...like this Irish Pride flag (on a German Iron Cross).

Plus -- all-you-can-eat sheep!

Mutton, Honey

A Ruminant of My Own

Because the DeLorean DMC-12 was manufactured in Northern Ireland,
there were about seven or eight on display.

Brightly-colored-yet-unhappy young step dancers

One clogs; the others wait angrily.

Those Irish step dancing skirts are so starched, they require a special carrying case (on the right).

Martin Luther King, Jr's Dream, Irish-style

MONTEREY

Small Fish, Big Aquarium

These orange jellyfish are not actually fish; they're gelatinous zooplankton. 
Also, they're not jelly; they're jam.

The Black Sea Nettle: No Vertebrate, No Problem

Leafy sea dragon

Be adorable. Be very adorable.

FOOT LOBSTER

Things are getting so bad economically that stores are merging just to try to stay in business.

DAVID BENNING'S MERIT BADGE FOR FIBBING

David Benning is running for Congress in California's 30th District (the Fighting 30th!). Benning's opponent is the incumbent Henry Waxman. It's going to be a tough race for the newcomer as Waxman is a fairly popular and powerful Representative.

Benning has never held political office before. (Though his official website touts his 15 years of experience as a "Boy Scout leader.") And it seems that Benning was concerned that voters would be turned off by his lack of experience — so afraid, in fact, that he posted a photo of himself aboard Air Force One at the top of the "About David" section of his website. The photo depicts Benning, his wife and another couple in front of Air Force One's iconic door.

You might ask yourself — what President invited Benning aboard a flight on the Presidential aircraft? The answer is "none."

Turns out the photo is of SAM 27000, the decommissioned Air Force One that has been an attraction at the Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley since 2005.

Anyone willing to pay the $12 admission fee can get his photo taken in front of the former Air Force One (copies of the photos are extra). How do I know this? Well, I had my photo taken with the Presidential prop last January. (Read all about it in Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.)

(See — look how potentially-Congressional I look too!)

On his Welcome page, Benning says he's running for office because "It seems like Congress has completely lost touch with common sense." If that's the case, should Benning get elected, he'll fit right in. The aspiring Congressman did not have the common sense to identify the plane in his "About David" page as a phony.

But it does not appear to be an oversight on Benning's part; it seems like a deliberate attempt to fool the voters. Consider this:

1. Why post this photo at all? Take away the Air Force One backdrop, and it doesn't make much sense — there are two unidentified people in it. (I'm assuming the third unidentified person is his wife). Yet Benning chose the fake Air Force One picture to be the top photo on his "Meet David Benning" page — this is the photo that will introduce him to the voters of California.

2. He edited the photo before posting it. Looking at the original size of the photo (which can be seen on mine underneath), it's easy to see that Benning deliberately cropped the souvenir photo so as to make it look less like the gift-shop trinket it is.

Perhaps Benning the Scoutmaster forgot the Scout Oath:

On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country;
To obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.


UPDATE: AS OF 2:20 PST, BENNING HAS QUIETLY ADDED A CAPTION TO THE PHOTO, IDENTIFYING THE AIRCRAFT IN HIS PHOTO AS BEING THE REAGAN LIBRARY PLANE.


But I've archived Benning's page in its original form — you can view it HERE.
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DAVID BENNING'S ORIGINAL AIR FORCE ONE PAGE

Before he finally amended his website to properly identify his cropped Air Force One photo as the grounded plane exhibit at the Reagan Library, this was David Benning's "About David" page in its entirety:

THE NEW SLIM JIM

REAGAN PRESIDENTIAL FOUNDATION & LIBRARY (PART 2)

Lawn... Of... Fortune!

The Reagan Library is a natural habitat for snakes. 
(Hm... is Lee Atwater buried here too?)

There are cameras trained on the mausoleum 24 hours a day which makes me wonder — do they expect Zombie Reagan to make a break for it one day?

There's the Peace Plaza...

...where an U.S. Navy F-14 Tomcat sits... peacefully.

2010 VANCOUVER WINTER OLYMPICS

You know what's a dumb last-minute idea? Trying to go to the Winter Olympics. But that was my dumb idea. So we did it. The plan: fly to Vancouver, see an Event, and fly back the same day.
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I didn't know who would be playing when I bought the tickets because it was a Qualifying Playoff game. Surprise, it's...

Switzerland vs. Belarus

The arena was nearly packed, though not with Swiss or Belarusians — 
the crowd was mostly comprised of Canadians.

This Canuck made a sign that expressed the sentiments of his compatriots: 
" We Couldn't Afford Canada Tickets."

Though it wasn't USA vs. Canada, the Switzerland vs. Belarus game was actually really exciting; the teams were very evenly matched at 8th and 9th place after the first round of play.

"Um... I think you're in my seat."

The phrase "MAKE SOME NOISE!" loses its impact when it's in French. 
Also when it's coming out of the mouth of Quatchi, the most adorable Olympic mascot.

Uh-oh — I did not factor Overtime into the schedule. 
That's OK... there's still a chance to make the flight back to LA.

...except that the game was still tied over Overtime. Our beloved Belarus lost to Switzerland in a shootout.