Tuesday, August 11, 2015

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE OCEAN

Next stop on the Vietnam tour was the beach city of Hoi An. Whoever art directed this place is a genius.


At one point it occurred to me: "I'm usually on the other side of this ocean." Could you see me waving?


For reasons I am still unclear on, Vietnamese beach trash receptacles are shaped like penguins. Eat my garbage, Happy Feet!

On a scooter tour of the countryside, we got to see a woman who makes zillions of rice crackers in her home.

She dries them out on the porch like laundry.

For now: lovable pets. Later on: Bún Thịt Nướng.

I can't remember if this was tea or something stronger... like snake wine. Or gasoline.

The tour guide was delighted when I told him that I had a scooter in college, and encouraged me to take the wheel for awhile.

Considering the hyper aggressiveness of Vietnamese motorists, the caption of this photo easily could have been "Died trying to drive a Vespa in Vietnam."

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

PHO CHI MINH

I ate some great and weird food in Saigon.

This soup tasted good but had the viscosity of snot. 
The stuff in this iced beverage are lotus seeds. They taste like potatoes, and in the 100-degree heat of Vietnam, this drink does not quench your thirst in any way.

My Vietnamese food tour guide Ngoc got me to eat goat, frog and the final dinner item: duck embryo. In case you're wondering, duck embryo tastes a lot like chicken embryo.


This is the reaction of an Australian tourist at the moment I ate the duck embryo.

This coconut vendor encouraged me to try carrying his product. Then, not quite understanding the dollar-to-dong exchange rate, I set a Vietnamese record for the purchase price of a coconut.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

HO PEE MINH

The toilets in Vietnam covered the whole spectrum. From the electronic bidet in the fancy hotels...

...to the airport toilet that included a sticker warning users not to squat on top of the bowl.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

GOING... GOING... SAIGON!

In preparation for the 90+ degree heat and 90% humidity, I decided it would be a good idea to shave my head. And when you feel good, you look good. Right? 
Right?
Took the sleek new head out for a spin on the Saigon River.
Testing out one of the Cu Chi Tunnels, Viet Cong's base of operations for the Tet Offensive.

After crawling underground in the sweltering heat all day, nothing hits the spot like a cup of hot tea.

Monday, June 15, 2015

YOU'RE KILLING ME

Come on, CNN — you gotta say "Spoiler Alert!"

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

SHOE IN

A display at the Nike Store. So... I shouldn't buy their shoes?

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Friday, June 5, 2015

METALLIC-UH?

Well then what is the Titanium Series coated with?!

Thursday, June 4, 2015

BUTTON DOWN

If you're a woman, you might think this is a pictogram of Jesus' halo finger. But if you're a man, you'll recognize it as the silver button on top of some urinals. What I've always found funny about this flush button is that the manufacturer felt the button itself was not self-explanatory enough so they added the pictogram. And stranger still, the finger presses a button — but it's not the shape of the flush button.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

A NUMBERS GAME

I don't know if my mistake was using non-English numbers or full-width numbers.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

BLOW YOUR TOP

The headless mannequin clenched his fists, barely containing his rage.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

LESS THAN ONCE

This is from a survey sent to me by a focus group company. I like the choice that's in between "1-2 times" and "Never."

Monday, April 20, 2015

THE PAUSE THAT DOESN'T REFRESH

Welcome to the future... where vending machines now have software. And when that software crashes, you can't get a can of pop out of the machine.  

I tried pressing Control + Alt + Pibb on this one, but nothing happened.

Friday, April 17, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 5

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Friday, April 10, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 4

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Friday, April 3, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 3

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Friday, March 27, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 2

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 1

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

(ALMOST) ANYTHING GOES

Guess the type of business where this sign is located.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

LUCA BRASI TRAINS WITH THE EAGLES

"Tebow Training With Eagles" sounds like a euphemism for something awful. Like death. 

Or signing with the Philadelphia Eagles.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

OLD SPICE

If Vasco da Gama could see how easy it is for us now, his head would explode.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

THE CATBIRD SEAT

Perhaps not surprisingly, these Hello Kitty car seat covers were spotted in Pasadena.

Friday, February 27, 2015

IT'S HARD TO THINK

It IS hard to think of one... unless you're willing to use your brain for 10 seconds: Lucy, Fonzie, Chaplin, Skywalker, Ferris, Gilligan, all of the Bradys and for pete's sake Sulu!

A SNACK IN THE DARK

Tired of dingoes eating your baby? Now your baby can eat a Dingo!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

The other day, my window disappeared. At least that's what it looked like. Got to my car — no window.

Turns out, the window regulator broke, and the glass vanished into the door. Without a working motor, the window wouldn't go back up. The price to fix it? $350-500.

Unless you do it yourself.

First I took the door panel off. (And left it in my kitchen because that's kinda funny.)


Then I removed the plastic weather seal and disconnected the wires.

Then I unbolted and removed the broken window regulator.
Here's the shiny new regulator. I could've bought it online, but I spent a little more to get it from  Engler Bros Auto Parts in Santa Monica. The reason? If we all keep buying everything from Amazon, there won't be small businesses in a few years.

Then I stuck the weather seal back on, connected all the wires and popped the door panel back in. Repair time: about 2 hours. Total cost: under $100.