COOKIE MONSTERS

 Friend With Kids: How come you don't want to have children?
 Me: Because this is how cookie companies advertise to parents.

SCREWY

The printer wasn't working right, so I took the entire thing apart. 
After monkeying around with it, it works better. 
The problem must have been these 7 screws… 
which were left over after I put it back together.

GESTAPO THE CLOCK!

When you want your house to have that Nazi submarine vibe…
Pottery Barn's got you covered with their $189 U-Boat clock.

TOMATOES & POTATOES & BRUSSELS SPROUTS & GARLIC & ONIONS & ROSEMARY

Tomatoes and garlic

Brussels sprouts, potatoes, and rosemary

Added some onions and EVOO 

Roasting

Before roasting

After roasting

BIRD HOUSE

IT GETS BETTER

I think it could get better than that… for eaxmple, if she were alive.

GOTTA STAY FRESH

OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD

OF THEE ICING

HAVE YOU HEARD?

PREMATURE

Is Maybelline's "Baby Lips" a moisturizing lip balm for babies?
Or is it for women who want their lips to be as kissably soft as a baby?
Either way… yuck.

BACON

OH, WHAT A WORLD!

Seems like a modern-day re-telling of The Wizard Of Oz — 
the journey from Scientology to Linoleum City.

THE CROW

This is the balcony outside our offices. Some crows used to hang out there, so we started feeding them Cheetos. They loved them. 

After awhile, we got to know their personalities. One crow would mash the Cheetos with its feet first. This one would stack the Cheetos like cordwood in its beak and then fly off.

SLICE OF LIFE

A friend remarked about how the plastic thing in the pizza box looks like a tiny table... 

…so I made a teensy tablecloth for it. Italian style: red and white.

And then I made a puny pizza box for it.

That's a mouthful!

THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

LISTEN WITH PREJUDICE VOL. 1

Of all the pan flute tribute albums to George Michael, this is one of the best.

FIRED UP

                              You: "Where is the fire exting—"

                              Me: "Look, a sign!"

PUT A FINE POINT ON IT

THE FLAME WILL NEVER DIE

CURRENT MOOD:

BIRD-B-Q

The birds let me know when I'm not using my barbecue often enough...

…by building a nest on it.

SCOOT

In the city of Santa Monica, there's now a 20:1 ratio of e-scooters to people. 
And 10% of both are always splayed out face down on the sidewalk.

UNLIMITED*

Apparently, Verizon doesn't quite grasp the concept of the word "unlimited."

WAY TO TAKE A STAND, WIRED MAGAZINE

PRESSURE

HEIL… TRAILER?

EVERYTHING

STREET MAGIC

Was this your card?

MOTHER ME

BAD MATCH

Yipes, Match Game

PIZZA BUCKET LIST

Took a break from NY style… for some Jersey style.

TO THE EXTREME

Bro, I caught some extreme air this weekend, bro.

TRUE KNOWLEDGE EXISTS IN KNOWING THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING.

I was planning to matriculate at Platotronics but...

GOOD TASTE

It's the food event of the year: Taste Of The Nation

For paying with your Citi card, you get a bamboo cutting board and free drinks at the Citi lounge.

Some of the drinks in the lounge were orbs. This was a vodka glob.

¡Paella from José!

A crab tostada or something

A delicious slice of steak

There were a lot of gourmet tacos.

The portions were bite-sized, and the utensils were adorable.

Some beers from Duvel. Which means "devil"!

We all of us got very full.