Tuesday, June 21, 2016

THIS JUST IN

LA's local NBC News affiliate has finally resorted to full-on peer pressure:


Sunday, June 12, 2016

SUBTRACTION

I support Bernie Sanders' free college tuition plan because too many people in this country can't do simple math. 

For example: Bernie Sanders. 



Sunday, May 29, 2016

POTTER? I HARDLY KNOW 'ER!

I bought the cheapest wand they had at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
(The Stanley Shunpike: $28)

Thursday, May 26, 2016

I SCREAM

I'm not sure if I could explain Twitter to my 10-year-old self, but he'd be PSYCHED to be Followed by Carvel Ice Cream

Sunday, May 15, 2016

OFFENSIVE FOUL

Buy a new NBA-approved StubHub branded 76ers jersey for just $19!*

*plus $78.55 in Service, Delivery and Transactional Fees

Monday, May 9, 2016

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

You were there for me every single day, instilling me with your morals and values. 
Happy Mothers Day!

Sunday, May 8, 2016

POOP DECK

As always, marketing is the solution: just rebrand all these norovirus cruises as "Extreme Weight Loss Vacations."

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

CHALLENGE (PT 2)

Finally -- an account challenge question that I can answer!

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

CHALLENGE

Single, childless, divorced parents, no younger sibling... I cannot answer any of these account challenge questions.

Friday, April 15, 2016

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Celebrity Rehabber Dr. Drew... and Bernie Sanders campaign manager Jeff Weaver

EYE D

Apple Photos facial recognition software would like me to identify this face.

Friday, April 1, 2016

CLUE

So... that means OJ buried a different knife in his backyard, because...?!

Saturday, March 26, 2016

EYE SURRENDER

If it meant I never had to see the trailer for Eye In The Sky again, I'd strangle that hula hooper with my bare hands.

Friday, March 25, 2016

TAKE 5




IT'S A BLAND OLD FLAG

Is Ted Cruz's logo supposed to be an American flag on fire?
Or a tear from Old Glory crying?
Or what?

Sunday, March 13, 2016

SAN FRANCISCO

Land's End

Sutro Baths

Una Pizza Napoletana

San Francisco hotel room

Wait, what?

Thursday, February 25, 2016

A BROKEN RECORD

(with apologies to John Lennon)

Friday, February 19, 2016

GO BANANAS

Locally grown bananas! 
(Rajapuri & Dwarf Brazilian)

Friday, February 12, 2016

KIND OF BLUE: VOLUME 2

Remember this beauty? The bullpen car — what a time saver!
The Dodgers have got baggage.
Not violating Rule 3.17.
Penned in.
I found their seed stash.
You can stick your real finger inside of this fake finger. 
(I suspect this is a fetish of M.C. Escher.)

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

KIND OF BLUE: VOLUME 1

From the VIP tour of Dodger Stadium:

Hm. Which one's my seat?

Well, at least someone's amazed by the view from the press box.

I took some guy's regular seat.

LA's most famous organ (that's not connected to a Friar).

Here's the device that controls the scoreboard. Where do you swipe?

1/17

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Monday, November 23, 2015

GO FISH



I've got more mercury in me than a rectal thermometer.