Wednesday, December 28, 2011

SNICKERS LOAF

Came across this giant-sized Snickers at a Walgreens. The package says "Slice n' Share." Apparently you're supposed to serve this candy bar as if it's a meatloaf.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

ON SPRITZEN!

He sees you when you're sleeping. Also when you're peeing.

The Santa Toilet Seat Cover and Rug Set — available at Amazon.com for only $12.99.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

E.Y. Harburg was a lyricist who wrote "Paper Moon" and all the songs in the Wizard of Oz including one of the most popular songs in history, "Over The Rainbow." He's literally in the Songwriters Hall of Fame.

He also wrote a song that became the anthem of the Great Depression called "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?" It's a heart-wrenching tune, and it sums up both the sadness and anger of the period.

And apparently, some company online thought it would make a good ringtone.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

BETTER LATE: PART 8

I got into the Late Show Top Ten Contest again. It's the eighth time I've made the list and the second consecutive time an entry of mine was picked for #1.

(I actually thought my entry of "iPad Thai" was funnier than the one they chose.)


Here's the original BETTER LATE post (updated a few times).

TOP TEN REJECTED TITLES FOR "Brokeback Mountain" (01/01/2006)
#4: "The Good, The Bad, and The Fabulous"

TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR NEW TV SHOWS (10/11/2008)
#7: Project Amway

TOP TEN PUNCHLINES TO DIRTY PIRATE JOKES (04/25/2009)
#1: "Yo, ho."

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR BROADWAY SHOW IS IN TROUBLE (12/25/2010)
#6: Music by Stephen Sondheim, Lyrics by Stephen Baldwin

TOP TEN NEWT GINGRICH PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN SLOGANS (06/28/2011)
#10: Isn't It Time For An Old, White President?

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE JOINED A BAD ONLINE SOCIAL NETWORK (07/05/2011)
#1: The Winklevoss Twins hardly ever sue it.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

PALM SPRINGS AIR MUSEUM

Planes with folding wings are much easier to store in your hall closet next to the elliptical machine.
This ain't no Mickey Mouse bomber.

Um, you got any seats farther back in Coach?
The controls for 1940s war planes were easier to understand than my 2011 TiVo remote.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

HAPPY DEPRESSION!

Awhile ago, I saw this ad online for some get-rich-quick seminar. I like how elated the instructor is... as he predicts what would be the biggest financial meltdown in the history of the world.

Friday, December 2, 2011

HIGHBROW

Found comedy at the auto parts store: