Tuesday, December 1, 2015

TBD

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Saw this sign on a door at Fullscreen. This may or may not be a room. To Be Determined.

Monday, November 23, 2015

SOCK IT TO ME



These "Queen Size" socks are okay but I was looking for something in a California King. 

Sunday, November 1, 2015

CAT'S CRADLE: THE SANTA MONICA CAT SHOW (IN COSTA MESA)


No line for the Men's Room at the Cat Show.

The stakes are high.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

HALLOWEEN 2015

Continuing my annual Halloween tradition: I put a sign on the door that says "TAKE ONE PLEASE" and and empty bag.

Putting the finishing touches on my Sia costume.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

RUNS FOR THE BORDER


"Let's give this take-out meal a name that hints at its future."

Sunday, October 11, 2015

TRICK AND TREAT

These Hostess Candy Corn Cupcakes contain no candy corn on or in them. This is a limited edition product, folks, so put a few away.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

STEP ONE

You know what else is "perfect for drunks"? AA.

THE S IS FOR SUPER…

Well, by definition... yeah.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

This breakfast cereal kinda looks more like Garlic Toast Crunch. 

Monday, October 5, 2015

SECOND BOURNE

Ever have one of those days when an anesthesiologist who's got the same name as you gets indicted for stealing Native American artifacts?

Thursday, October 1, 2015

FAIR ENOUGH

Here is your Chicago World's Fair (aka World's Columbian Exposition) Fun Fact of the day.

The song you may know as "The Snake Charmer Song" or "There's A Place In France Where The Naked Ladies Dance" (or many other names) is actually titled "The Streets of Cairo, or the Poor Little Country Maid" and made its debut at the Chicago World's Fair of 1893.

The original melody was written by World's Fair entertainment director Sol Bloom for use in an attraction called A Street in Cairo. (Bloom did not copyright the music; later songwriter James Thornton would added lyrics to the tune.)

But as popular and ubiquitous as the song would become, it was the accompanying dancing (introduced as "The Algerian Dancers of Morocco") that gained the most notoriety.

Among the performers was a Syrian woman named "Little Egypt" (Fahreda Mazar Spyropoulos) whose uncorseted torso articulating moves shocked the Victorian sensibilities of the day. In short order, her pseudonym would become synonymous for "belly dancer."

In addition to "belly dancing," people also referred to her act as "the shimmy and shake" and "the hoochy-coochy." It is said that her performance for Mark Twain at the Fair caused the great American humorist to suffer a heart attack.

Fahreda Mazar Spyropoulos was arrested by New York City police three years after the Fair. Newspaper reports claimed Little Egypt was dancing the the hoochy-coochy while in the nude at a stag party thrown by the grandson of circus legend P.T. Barnum.

Sol Bloom would later serve 14 terms in the U.S. House of Representatives.



Friday, August 14, 2015

BETTING ON LAS VEGAS WEATHER

The only time I've ever gotten an Emergency Alert on my iPhone was in Las Vegas this week. On Thursday, I got one for a Flash Flood Warning and on Friday I got one for a Dust Storm Warning. What time are the locusts arriving?


Anyone who left the casino for a moment would have noticed the torrential rain. (So no one.)
At the Golden Nugget, the ceiling over the craps tables sprung a leak and had to be dried out with a wet-vac.
This is the Frank Gehry-designed Cleveland Clinic. It sort of looks like someone left Disney Hall out in the sun too long.
The bathroom at The Four Queens in downtown Vegas has amenities that the so-called luxury casinos just don't have.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE OCEAN

Next stop on the Vietnam tour was the beach city of Hoi An. Whoever art directed this place is a genius.


At one point it occurred to me: "I'm usually on the other side of this ocean." Could you see me waving?


For reasons I am still unclear on, Vietnamese beach trash receptacles are shaped like penguins. Eat my garbage, Happy Feet!

On a scooter tour of the countryside, we got to see a woman who makes zillions of rice crackers in her home.

She dries them out on the porch like laundry.

For now: lovable pets. Later on: Bún Thịt Nướng.

I can't remember if this was tea or something stronger... like snake wine. Or gasoline.

The tour guide was delighted when I told him that I had a scooter in college, and encouraged me to take the wheel for awhile.

Considering the hyper aggressiveness of Vietnamese motorists, the caption of this photo easily could have been "Died trying to drive a Vespa in Vietnam."

Sunday, August 2, 2015

HO PEE MINH

The toilets in Vietnam covered the whole spectrum. From the electronic bidet in the fancy hotels...

...to the airport toilet that included a sticker warning users not to squat on top of the bowl.

Monday, June 15, 2015

YOU'RE KILLING ME

Come on, CNN — you gotta say "Spoiler Alert!"

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

SHOE IN

A display at the Nike Store. So... I shouldn't buy their shoes?

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Friday, June 5, 2015

METALLIC-UH?

Well then what is the Titanium Series coated with?!

Thursday, June 4, 2015

BUTTON DOWN

If you're a woman, you might think this is a pictogram of Jesus' halo finger. But if you're a man, you'll recognize it as the silver button on top of some urinals. What I've always found funny about this flush button is that the manufacturer felt the button itself was not self-explanatory enough so they added the pictogram. And stranger still, the finger presses a button — but it's not the shape of the flush button.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

A NUMBERS GAME

I don't know if my mistake was using non-English numbers or full-width numbers.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

BLOW YOUR TOP

The headless mannequin clenched his fists, barely containing his rage.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

LESS THAN ONCE

This is from a survey sent to me by a focus group company. I like the choice that's in between "1-2 times" and "Never."

Monday, April 20, 2015

THE PAUSE THAT DOESN'T REFRESH

Welcome to the future... where vending machines now have software. And when that software crashes, you can't get a can of pop out of the machine.  

I tried pressing Control + Alt + Pibb on this one, but nothing happened.

Friday, April 17, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 5

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Friday, April 10, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 4

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Friday, April 3, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 3

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Friday, March 27, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 2

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

THE WINE DETECTIVE: EPISODE 1

I have no idea what this now-defunct Pasadena business actually did, but I like to imagine it as a noir detective series.